California Boys

Kris Versteeg loves to sing and he also likes to make up his own words to famous songs.

We like that about him.

So we decided to try our hand at making new songs. And we wrote a song for Beau Bennett.

Want to hear it? It's fantastic.


California boys
They're more mature
Hockey pants
Jersey on top
They have cell
Phones at
Only three years old
Oooooh oh oooooh



What do you think? Any songs that you've altered to make hockey-related?

Top Ten Reasons Why Everyone's Jumping Ship To Mother Russia

Top Ten Reasons Why Everyone's Jumping Ship To Mother Russia



10. they went to get their mail-order brides

09. money, money, money

08. they're afraid Sergei Federov will hate them


07. Evgeni Malkin's restaurant is having a special on pirohi

06. $35 hockey jerseys are everywhere


05. the houses are cheap

04. beautiful architecture


03. it's a wonderful place to raise children

02. they're going to join the Gestapo

01. the vodka, duh

Oh Hey News, What's Up?

Latest players to avoid arbitration:

Gilbert Brule - signed a 2-year deal worth 1.85 million dollars

Peter Regin is staying a Senator.

Andrew Ladd signed with the Thrashers for a one-year deal worth 2.35 million dollars.


Hopefully this is the year that Mikael Backlund breaks into the Flames roster. At least that's what they're hoping.


The Ducks signed Cam Fowler to an entry level contract. Yay!


Denis Grebeshkov signed with the KHL because he wasn't happy with what the Predators were offering him.


Unfortunately for Hawks fans, Antti Niemi is wallowing in arbitration. Who is left on the Hawks if he goes?


The Capitals traded prospect Stefan Della Rovere to the St. Louis Blues for DJ King. Does that mean we can like Della Rovere now?


On TSN.ca, readers are asked whether athletes should re-think how they use Twitter, if at all.


Colby Armstrong and Kris Versteeg were on hand to represent the Maple Leafs in a special event. They both look pretty good in blue.

Mancrush Of The Week: Martin St. Louis

Martin St. Louis wears three-piece suits which just reminds us of our grandfather so we could never date him.


-&-


Name
Martin St. Louis


Age/DOB
35 / June 18, 1975


Team
Tampa Bay Lightning



Number
26


Position
right wing



Hometown
Laval, Quebec


Why He's A Mancrush

Martin is a Lady Byng winner and annual candidate. He hardly takes penalties and never instigates fights. Basically he's a nice guy.

And nice guys aren't really that sexy (if you can think of one, let us know) but they're cute. Martin is cute, adorable even at times.

It's also because of his height.


We love him because he's a winner. And he is a fighter and he didn't let his height stop him from reaching the NHL. (It also helped that he was ridiculously talented.)

And winning a Hart and a Stanley Cup is nothing to sneeze at, bitches.

Free Agent Signings On A Tuesday?

Seriously? Who would have thought?


So, the Rangers signed Alexander Frolov. Henrik is slightly excited considering that she doesn't hate him. Yet.

And to fill the role of "mysterious but mistaken for sulking Eastern European" the Kings signed Alexei Ponikarovsky.

Good for them.


To get in on all this action, Max Talbot let his ineptitude with the English language get the better of him when he called Alex Ovechkin a 'douche'.

Hehehehehehehehe.



NHL.com has another list (you should know how fond they are of lists by now) of the seven players who are poised for a breakout season.


And on a more serious and tragic note, the Penguins' longtime announcer John Barbero has passed away. Mr. Barbero will be extremely missed by all Pens fans, especially the ones with season tickets.

A Call To Arms...Sort Of

As you know, we are fans of all kinds of hockey. But our allegiance will always lie with the Penguins. They have been our team for years.

As you should also know, we do a preview of each team for the upcoming season for each day starting August 2nd until August 31st.

Being hockey fans, it is easy for us to do a write up for each one. But at the same time, we don't feel that we do that team justice because we aren't true fans of them.


Now, here's where we need your help. We need fans of specific teams to do a write-up for us. We think that as a true fan of the team you will do a much better job than us on what the team is doing and who the hottest player is and all that important stuff.

Here's an example of one that we really loved last season. It was the Chicago Blackhawks and sent to us by Ginahipal89.


So, if you have a favorite team and know that you know a lot about them then please get in touch with us. We would love to have you do a write-up.

If you are so inclined, please send us an email or a comment here. We shall link the outline of how we would like the preview done in a future post and also email it to you if you would like.


We will be starting with the Western Conference in this order: Pacific, Northwest, Central. Then the Eastern Conference in this order: Southeast, Northeast, Atlantic.


Let us know as soon as possible and we hope to hear from a lot of readers.


And just to make this not a complete snorefest:

Bad NHL Boys Club: Episode Six

Episode Six: In Vegas, No One Can Hear You Scream





"I think we should stick with the Palms. It's never let me down in the dozens of visits I've made to Vegas." Sean Avery is touching up his makeup in the mirror as they discuss where they want to go in Vegas.

Tyler Kennedy thinks that another hotel/casino would be a lot better. "Personally, I love the Excalibur" he says while packing a few more items into a small black bag.

"Please, that place is for children." Brooks Laich obviously doesn't like that idea either.

"Really? Then you would fit in there perfectly." Tyler throws a glare at him.

That's when Patrick Kane finally wakes up, "MGM Grand. Best place ever."

They all turn to stare at him and even Sean has to agree that it's a fantastic idea.

An hour later, the limousine is there to pick them up. The four of them pile in with dreams of money, girls and liquor that will hopefully be fulfilled.


In the other side of the house, Dion Phaneuf and Shea Weber are gossiping about their other housemates.

They know that the other guys have left and they believe that Jeff Carter is occupied with his flirtation with the poolboy.


Little do they know.

"So, I've heard that the only reason Jeff was put on this show was because the creators were scared of what he would do when he found out that Mike was asked to leave."

"Really? Well, I heard that the poolboy got around last weekend and that Tyler and Brooks are into all that kinky stuff."



"Hmm, interesting. I heard from some unnamed source that Sean Avery is in fact a woman. I mean, come on, the man puts on foundation in the morning."

"Oh, I believe you. Well, I've been told that Patty has a crush on the cop, um what's his name? Oh, Toews yeah, Officer Toews."

What they don't know is that Jeff Carter is listening and writing it all down.


Back in the limousine, the four boys finally made it to Las Vegas. The lights are sparkling all around them as the limo cruises down the Strip.


Patty's upper half is sticking out of the limo as he yells at the hookers on the corners and the people stumbling into casinos.


Tyler is next to him in the sunroof, throwing dollar bills into the air, "I'm gonna make is rain, bitches."

They reach the hotel and casino and that's when all hell breaks loose.

There are girls in bikinis wrapped in their arms and money flying out of pockets and Grey Goose everywhere they look.

Brooks loses most of his money on the Blackjack table, refusing to leave until he wins something.

Sean disappears into one of the many restaurants with three scantily-clad ladies.

Patty and Tyler decide to drink as much as possible on the Bad NHL Boys Club tab.


Around 5 am, they all retire to the hotel room.

The next morning it looks like this.



Back at the house, Dion and Shea don't know what to do so they call up some bitches and throw a party.


Jeff is being nice to them, to get them drunk before the big reveal the next morning when the others come back from Vegas.

The Gardener is spinning some tunes, the Poolboy is throwing fire (who knew he had so many talents?) and there are girls everywhere.


Jeff finds the stash of Hypnotic that Brooks kept hidden under the poolhouse steps. He distributes a bottle to everyone he sees, including Shea and Dion.

That makes for an even more interesting night.


Someone brought their furry costumes, there's a group of girls dancing on the patio bar like Coyote Ugly and Jeff is sitting in a lounge chair, watching the festivities.

The next morning is going to be fantastic.



-&-


Next week is the end of the series.

Tune in to see what happens when Jeff tells all to the other roommates and surprise guest make appearances in the end.

Video Round-Up

Mr. Bolland, where have you been hiding that hair?



Like we have said before about Beau Bennett, we have to remind ourselves that he's not old enough to get into a nudie bar.

But as one of our friends said, "He's from California, they're more mature there."

But there's no excuse for our infatuation with Carl Sneep.



Heartwarming story of the summer


The Oilers had a trivia game for Taylor Hall, Magnus Paajarvi-Svensson and Jordan Eberle about each other



Scariest thing we've ever seen



How Well Do You Know Your Roommate: Austin Watson & Ryan Ellis (Nashville Predators)


Team building takes a whole new twist for the Preds



Future stud/future hottie we will be fighting each other over

This Or That: Better Wedding

It seems that both Mike Fisher and Henrik Zetterberg married this summer and you could hear the hearts breaking in Sweden, Detroit, and Canada.

But what we're concerned with is who you think had the better wedding: Fisher/Underwood wedding or Zetterberg/Andersson wedding?


-&-


Mike Fisher and Carrie Underwood



1. Well, she's a gorgeous and famous coutry singer and he's not that bad looking, duh

2. Married at the Ritz Carlton in Georgia

3. Southern food and cupcakes

4. this ring


5. honeymoon in Bora Bora



Henrik Zetterberg and Emma Andersson



1. Uh... nice wedding photos...

(Thanks to Julia and Shanny for the link)


You decide who had the better wedding...

Thursday's Link Dump

- Eric Tangradi, Dustin Jeffrey and Nick Johnson will be given the biggest chances to make an impact with the Pittsburgh Penguins.

- The Boston Bruins are pumped to have Tyler Seguin as are the fans of the Bruins.

- This was sent to us by Julie, it's a video of the Red Wings first round draftee


- NHL.com has a list of the top player on each team who will be expected to make an impact in the 2010-2011 season...East & West.

- Adam Proteau is upset that Paul Bissonnette cancelled his Twitter account in "good taste". We are too, sir.

- On ESPN.com, Scott Burnside questions many important matters that have been going on in the NHL recently.

- Every article just keeps cementing the idea in our heads that Brent Seabrook and Duncan Keith are in fact soulmates. This is another one.

- And this has to be one of the funniest videos lately

(Thanks to Medhia in the comments section)

Mancrush Of The Week: Dan Ellis

Dan is a hoot on Twitter and adorable. But he's a dad so that's kind of a no-no for us.

-&-



Name
Dan Ellis


Age/DOB
30 / June 19, 1980


Team
Tampa Bay Lightning


Number
(undetermined yet)



Position
goaltender


Hometown
Saskatoon, SK



Why He's A Mancrush

Like we said above, Dan is so freaking hilarious on his Twitter account.

One time he tweeted about how there was a deer in the yard and that he wanted to keep it as a pet.

That's why we love him.

And like we said above, Dan is a family man. He is all about his two kids and being a part of the 700 Club.


Dan is adorable but in the "Aw, he's so cute!" kind of way. Like when you see a Pug puppy taking a walk with his mommy and he's just so freaking cute.



That's how we see Dan Ellis.

We just want to pinch those cute little cheeks.

Um, About That

There is no end to the depth that Lou Lamoriello will go to get his way.

He signed Ilya Kovalchuk to a 17 year contract (and we thought 10 was too much, silly kids) worth 102 million dollars.

Really? Is Ilya Kovalchuk really worth that? You tell us.

But then Mr. Bettman jumped in and said NO DEAL LIKE THIS ON MY WATCH!



So the saga continues....

Steve Yzerman Is Doing It All

- As the new General Manager of the Tampa Bay Lightning, Steve Yzerman is doing a lot. Whether it's helpful now or not is the question.

Today, he traded Matt Walker and their 2011 fourth-round pick for Simon Gagne.

Here's the link.

To us, it seems like Tampa didn't give enough for Simon Gagne. But maybe that's because we're Penguins fans and he always scores on Fleury.


- Now we can put an end to the Kovalchuk drama. He finally re-signed with the New Jersey Devils to an a contract that we're actually scared to find out how much it is.

Woth this signing, the Devils will need to make some moves to free up cap space. Is it worth it? We'll see soon enough.


- Tomorrow is the release of the Blackhawks Championship DVD.

How much is it and where can we find it? That's all we want to know.


- Speaking of the Hawks, this is what Kris Versteeg did with the Cup on his two-day adventure

(thanks to Shanny for the assist)


- And the Wild signed Mikko Koivu to a seven-year contract extension.

Thank the hockey gods they have someone still just to make it interesting in the Northwest division.


- This is from the Chicago Tribune and it's such an "Aw!" moment

(thanks to Olivia for the heads up on this picture)

Bad NHL Boys Club: Episode Five

Episode Five: The New Guy




The sun comes up on the next day and there's a new housemate for everyone to meet. He drags his suitcases up the stairs in the dead quiet house.



Until Patrick Kane and Brooks Laich jump out of a room with silly string and spray the newcomer with it as they yell very loud in the hallway.

Falling to the ground, we see our first glimpse of who it is. Jeff Carter is covering his eyes, screaming "NOT THE FACE!" as he rolls around on the floor.

Tyler Kennedy is howling with laughter at the turn of events, barely containing his joy at seeing another human so terrified. He fits in so well.

When the melee clears, Pierre McGuire comes out of the bathroom.

"Ladies, meet Jeff Carter. He is your new roommate for the remainder of this series. Hopefully you don't drive him out as well."

Jeff is pissed off already so it doesn't look too good for the boys. He doesn't like his pretty face messed with.


Later that day, Jeff is making himself a sandwich in the kitchen when Dion and Shea Weber walk in. They circle around Jeff, eyeing him up like they're going to eat him. Because if they could, they would.

"You think you're a real pretty boy, eh?" Shea sneers at Jeff.

"I bet he does with all those metro hair products in your luggage." Dion circles around his prey.

Jeff isn't fazed at all, "Yeah actually I am pretty fucking hot."


Neither predator moves, afraid that they'll spook the prey and they digest what he just said.

Then Shea looks at Dion, "Maybe we should give him the benefit of the doubt. We do need someone pretty to be our friend to make up for that forehead of yours."

Dion shrugs, "That's true. I'm calling a truce."

And that's how alliances are formed kids.



In another corner of the house, Brooks is upset that he is no longer the pretty one in the house.

So he brings out the bottle of Hypnotic he's been stashing away forever and starts downing it straight.


This isn't going to end well.


Sean convinces everyone to go out that night, choosing to ignore the obviously drunk Brooks Laich in the limo.



They get to the club and somehow Brooks smuggles in another bottle and he's dancing on the bar with girls that have no shirts on.

None of the boys stop him because they think it's too funny.

Patrick is hitting on the bartender who looks to be twice his age, Dion and Shea are cornering a girl between them and Tyler is doing body shots.

But that's when shit goes Fight Club crazy.



Brooks accidentally drops the bottle of Hypnotic and that makes people stare at him when it smashes on the ground.

Brooks grabs the butt of one of the girls when she yells at him, "Get off me you perv!"

"But you're the one dancing with me!" Brooks yells back.

That's when this man gets up on the bar, "You just grabbed my wife's ass."

Brooks is terrified when the guy pulls out a gun from nowhere.

But that's when the cops arrive. Just in time.

Officer Toews handcuffs Brooks and he's dragging the culprit out of the bar when Patty stops them.

He is obviously intoxicated and Officer Toews debates internally whether to arrest him as well just to teach him a lesson.

But he doesn't.

"Officer, this man is innocent. He just dropped the bottle and accidentally hit on a girl who was with this man who brought a gun to the club. That's who should be arrested."

Officer Toews sighs, he doesn't want to do the paperwork. "Alright, just promise me that you'll get him home safely."

Patty holds his hand in the air in the Vulcan symbol, "Scout's honor, sir."

And Brooks is a free man, thanks to Patty's way with words.


By the time the limo gets them home, it is way past all of their bedtimes.

But that's when Sean Avery lets the bomb drop.

He's at the head of the stairs as the others are dragging ass up them.

"I've planned a trip to Las Vegas for the weekend. Who's coming with me?"

The six roommates stare blankly at him for a minute, deciding if he's serious or not. But he's dead serious.

Sean smiles sweetly at them, "Vegas or bust, bitches."



-&-


Tune in for the next episode when Vegas swallows their souls whole and the boys left behind learn terrible (and entertaining) truths about their fellow housemates.